The Miracles of the Young and the Old

 

So the tone of my last few posts has been pretty heavy. So for my next topic, I wanted to go with something more uplifting.

Kids are adorable and sweet. They can be rambunctious and crazy, and hard to handle. One thing that is certain, they have a way of looking at the world that no one else does. They are very perceptive, and they can see the joy and beauty in the world that often big people can’t. So you don’t think I’m fully idealizing kids here, I will also say they can be messy, loud, and tiring. They can demand a lot from you. It’s because children, by their nature, are meant to absorb, to soak in. They are learning about life, and crave any lessons that anyone can teach. At the end of the day, though, most people would agree that life is a whole lot better because of them.

People who are elderly, in my opinion, are generally really cool. They are wise, and calm.  Or they can be super feisty and won’t take crap from anyone. Many of them have a sparkle in their eye and an impish sense of humor. Having lived so much of their lives, they long now to give, to teach. They’ve absorbed wisdom, and experience, and have a great deal to share. Again, not to idealize; there are many challenges that come with being elderly. Accumulating health issues, combined with increasingly limited independence can be frustrating for both the individual as well as their loved ones. In situations with memory loss or personality changes, the feeling of loss for caregivers can be overwhelming. But again, at the end of the day, most people would agree that you would never stop loving someone because they grow old.

Not to get too philosophical here, but I’ve heard it said in different ways that kids and people who are elderly are in fact two sides of the same coin, and it is in reality the people in the middle who are so different. In that space between youth and age, it can be natural to become caught up in the daily concerns of life, and to lose touch somewhat with what really matters. Somehow, though, children and the elderly always seem to remember that.

But, unfortunately, these people are often lost in the shuffle. It is often easier to push them away in favor of something easier, something digital maybe, that doesn’t demand anything of you like they do. I know this because too many times I’ve made that mistake myself.

But there are some really exciting programs out that recognize how maybe kids and the elderly are perfectly matched to give and receive. In these new models, the nursing homes and elder care facilities are hosting preschools in their homes.

This approach has so many benefits. It helps to combat the loneliness and depression that elders often experience because of isolation. It helps keep them mentally sharp and stimulated because of their interaction with quick young minds. It gives them a sense of purpose and usefulness, as they are responsible to interact with the children. And maybe most importantly, it gives them a bond  of zany fun. And I think fun is pretty important in life.

It’s just as good for the kids, too. Kids may often be seen as a nuisance, and made to feel like they don’t matter. But in those moments when they interact with an elder, they can be made to feel like the most important person in the world. They can gain wisdom and insight that will guide them their whole lives. They can also develop a strong concept of the humanity of the elderly, which is often lacking in modern society. But as they grow up, and become the caregivers and policy makers (and as we grow old), don’t we want a generation of people who care?

Again, not to idealize- elder care facilities can be rough places. As time progresses, someone’s health may deteriorate, and that is hard for anyone to watch. It can especially be hard for a child who may have developed a bond with the elder, and may even have to watch them die. For someone so young, with most likely a very vague concept of what death even is, this could be traumatic. Some experts have mentioned that this may be ultimately positive, because our culture is so skittish about even acknowledging death. They think it may teach children the importance of accompanying people through this phase of their lives.

To be honest, I don’t know the answer to that question. I know if I were a parent, it would be instinct to keep my children away from that kind of pain, and it would kill me inside to watch them suffer. But at the same time, maybe early exposure to the realities of aging would make them less afraid, and allow them to have the right priorities and a richer life overall. Like most things in life, this isn’t a clear-cut situation. However, I also think, like most things in life, if you approach the situation with compassion and humanity, you’ll be a amazed of what can come of it.